Henry Alexander

Some Serious Bullshit…

First, I’d like to direct everybody to this little link:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/29/tyrese.gibson.comics/index.html

Please. Read it. Throw up in your mouth a little bit. Swallow it back down with all the acidy disgustingness. And realize that that little snack you just ingested is at least 100 times better than that piece of crap comic book will ever be…

It’s so wrong on so many levels… I will break them down for you.

“There was an experience that I felt was pretty limiting as far as the comic book experience itself on paper,” says Gibson, who stresses that he did not grow up reading comic books and is not a comic book veteran. “[So] I set up this technology with my team and this is the first-ever digital comic book [on iTunes] in the history of comic books.”

Um, Bullshit? Ok, maybe it’s the first comic book on ITunes… but the first digital comic book?? Well I cant remember how long i’ve had X Comics from Comixologyon my Iphone, but it’s been a while. Not to mention how many flash comics I’ve seen over the years. Or what about just regular old long form comics on the web? Looking For Group one of my favorites has been going for at least a year now. Tyrese, I knew you weren’t the smartest guy doing pictures like2 Fast 2 Furious, but I at least thought you were being terrible on purpose in a campy kind of way… I actualy liked that movie… But now that I see you’re ultimate wisdom in how you plan on “Revolutionizing” comic books, I hate you and everything you’ve ever done. You should appologize to your “bri” Paul Walker when you see him. At least he doesnt pretend.

“Me and my partner Mike Lee and Will Wilson all got together, we started brainstorming about different concepts and different directions we could send this character in and we came up with something pretty unique. It’s an ongoing series and so as soon as you think you’ve got it figured out, there’s a cliffhanger that makes you want to read the second issue and the third issue.”

Jesus Christ has this guy EVER read a comic book in his life?

“He [Jim Lee (ED. NOTE: WHO HE FOUND ON FUCKING TWITTER…)] basically made me aware of all of the big players in the comic world like Alan Moore and Grant Morrison. He just painted this picture about who’s who in the comic book world and he schooled me on that level.”

Wow! You obviously learned so much about the industry!! I will take you very seriously in everything you have to say about comic books from now on!!!

“Right now, there is no conversation on any level about “Mayhem” becoming a film.”

Bullllllshiiiiiitttttt.

Now I will admit, I’m nowhere near an authority on Comics, in fact, I’m partaking in a very similar endeavor to Mr Gibson here… But there’s one key difference.

I’m not a retarded fuck.

This guy obviously has no idea what he’s talking about. I’ve at least done my due diligence and could tell you that a “cliffhanger” ending from one issue to the next ISN’T FUCKING UNIQUE. This guy hasn’t even Winge’d Marvel Comics (as a whole!), for if he had taken the hour out of his time to really see what he was getting himself into, he would’ve known that his gay ass character is a complete rip off of Deadpool, or whoever that guy is in the DC universe who looks like Deadpool.

I get upset because if this 2bit Pansy ass can do it, then god knows what other C listers will come out of the woodwork and try to do their own dumb comic, which will have also already been done before. It’s like the destruction of film all over again. It’s like what videogames are turning into. A bunch of bullshit with little art left in what is really one of the last pure art forms out there.