Henry Alexander

So as we all know due to some kind of insanely awesome event (or even sometimes a terrible event) in our lives, things seem to always happen when we least expect it.  Taking this into account, I will change my life in the following ways…

1.  I will pursue no career opportunities other than entry level positions at McDonalds.

2.   Never talk to girls, and if i have to I will be a complete dick.

3.  Go on enormous drug and alcohol binges and start sleeping on the streets.

4.  Not turn any of my finals in.

5.  Suppress all of my dreams and desires, and demote them to things that “I’ve thought about but never really thought about pursuing”.

This way, when i’m famous, filthy rich and flippin out fliff like a sultan, I can say my life is like a really bad movie, and people will hate me for it.