Henry Alexander

C’mon dude, are you really going to take 30 minutes to order at subway?

Do you really have to order 30 submarine sandwiches?  One for each of your coworkers?  Does each sandwich have to be microscopically specific?  Do you really need to specify exactly how much mayo and mustard NEEDs to go on each one?  Does all of this information really need to be on a 5 page 8 1/2 x 11” list?  Do you really need to be confused at everything that the sandwich artist has to ask you?  Does it really take you 45 seconds to understand what “we’re out of wheat” means?  Do you have to be so old?  Did the cafeteria at ‘the home’ run out of food?  Hey, remember when the ‘talkies’ first came out?

Seriously people.  If you’re going to order lunch for you’re whole office, dont do it at a deli.  If for some reason you HAVE to order from a deli, dont send a somebody with a manual… And if you for some reason HAVE to make the rest of the city wait 30 minutes for a 6 inch turkey, at the very least, send somebody who doesn’t have to check their depends every 5 minutes…

And delis, why don’t you do anything about this?  Call ahead and pick up?  Internet order and pick up?  Limit number of sammies per order?  Seriously Subway, you’re rep with the Henry Alexander faction just got bumped down to “familiar”.

If you want to grind your rep back up, send your hottest girls.